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MUTUAL AID BUMP
Asking folx to bump another emergency ask for support for one of our relatives who needs medical support. Our Black trans* sibling, Miracle, is still trying to get access to emergency medical care and survival resources. They’ve got $40 so far out of the $250 they’re trying to raise. Their cashapp is $nogenderjustbeauty
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=TABLE OF CONTENTS=
-CONTENT WARNING/JAM SESSION/CONTACT INFO
-INTRO -MY ABUSER -MY ESCAPE -MY FREEDOM -THE SURVIVORS -THE KKKOURT -NEEDS/WANTS -MUSIC BREAK -CALL TO ACTION
-SUGGESTED RESOURCES
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=CONTENT WARNING/JAM SESSION/CONTACT INFO=
what follows is my survival story containing partial descriptions of child sexual abuse and details on its place in the legacy of slavery, colonialism, and imperialism. at the end, is a call to action for all survivors and their allies.
if u have commitments to the liberation of youth, survivors of sexual abuse, the poor, whores, women/girls/marginalized genders, 3rd/4th world folx, mad-mentally ill-neurodiverse-neuroexpansive-disabled folx…please share this around or cut it up in any way yall need to get us all free.
hearing stories like this can take a lot out of us all whether you’ve been hurt or not and so i need to encourage u to rest and take breaks while reading while reading. now would be a good time to queue up…
‘the greatest love’ from whitney houston ‘don’t matter’ from akon ‘reparations’ from mumu fresh ‘AIM song’ by john trudell ‘space lion’ by the seatbelts ‘fight the system’ by shugudzo
thank you for taking the time to acknowledge some of the things ive survived, and thanks to the creator for letting me tell my story.
i encourage our Black trans* relatives to add their mutual aid requests to the top in the Mutual Aid Bump section!
i also invite anyone to share your thoughts and opinions about my story or just to chat with me by adding me online via smartinmate.com with my dead name and jail ID# (Matthew Daniel Temael/#23001768). i also love reading and art so please send me beautiful pictures along with good books, fanfiction, essays, internet posts, blogs, zines, etc.
resist <3 ••••••••••••• =INTRO= alii, this is the g0km0n5t3r, the gurl c0ck m0n5t3r, (she/they/it), formerly known as dandelion. im a non-Black nonbinary transfem, and a survival sex working whore who’s also a mad-mentally ill-neurodiverse illegal migrant of Pasifika. i killed a whyte guy who raped me as a child by burning him alive. what he did to me was bad, and i felt bad doing what i did, but i know it was the right thing to do because it feels even better knowing he’s never going to hurt anyone again. if someone has hurt you, and if you might never get a chance to know, let me tell you just how good it feels. and then please let me ask for your help. ••••••••••••• =MY ABUSER= louis stackhouse was a violent repeat child rapist, and he would be proud telling me his stories about how he ruined the lives of many other kids over the 69 years of his life. he would smile when he told me the story of how he got caught by the law and did time in prison for raping a young boy, but that they eventually let him go. his eyes shined when he told me that all he had to do was live according to the laws that govern the life of a registered sex offender, pay some money, stay away from parks and schools, etc, and that he could have all the fun he wanted in the meantime. thats when he found me at 16. it took me years to really understand what exactly he would do to me since he would usually take me when i was passed out drunk or high on weed. and even then, it was hard for me to understand that was rape. could *i* get raped? at the time i believed only women could get raped, specifically cisgender straight women/girls. but no, later i learned that anyone, transgender, gay, straight, boi, gorl, zey/zem, young and old…theyre all targeted by abusers & predators alike. it took me more years to understand that him taking me off the street to offer me food and shelter wasnt louis stackhouse turning a new leaf, being all good and kind after learning his lesson in prison. he would feed me and house me, yes, but in return for turning a blind eye to the sexual pleasure he would get from my unwilling body. all while he held onto my passport so i couldnt leave without becoming an undocumented immigrant & at greater risk of deportation. i came to understand all the details left out of his stories of the kids he’d “helped” over the years since getting out of prison. at that time i believed that someone who had once raped children could change after realizing what they did was wrong. but no, he wasn’t good and kind, but abusive & predatory…and he didnt change. i was lucky because i escaped. ••••••••••••• =MY ESCAPE= i was lucky cuz i had escaped with almost everything he took from me: the rest of my free life, my love towards others, and my security (yoinked my passport from the bastard before i left :D) i was lucky cuz i made some friends who helped me to escape and understand that what he did to me was fucked up, and so i was able to heal from the things he took from me that i couldnt get back…love to yall hoezz <3. but i was unlucky when i came to understand that he was an abuser. someone who knew what he was doing was wrong but did it anyway, and when i realized that he was a predator, someone who was gonna keep doing this to others over and over again, using POWER, FEAR, AND GUILT to keep his survivors quiet. i was unlucky cuz i realized i couldnt truly live again, love again, feel secure again until i knew i did everything i could to make sure he could never do what he did to me ever again. i was unlucky because there was nothing that was gonna stop me from going back there and… and what…? call the cops on him? no, the cops let him go the first time. cut off his dick? no, he could still hurt people without one. blind him? cripple him? torture him? no, i didnt want him to suffer, i just wanted to stop him from hurting anyone else. kill him. kill him. kill him. ill kill him. and so for years i plotted for revenge, for my life, love, security back. for a chance to put things right for the folx who would never get theirs back. for a different world where survivors could live free and defend themselves from ever getting hurt again. and i got it all. ••••••••••••• =MY FREEDOM= what he did to me was bad, and i felt a little bad doing what I did, but i know it was the right thing to do because it felt so, so, so good >:))))
it felt great knowing he’s never going to hurt anyone again.
for the first time in years i feel free again (even though im in a cage, lol). i feel like i can love again. i feel secure again.
i can rest easy again knowing things have been put right.
if someone hurt you, and if you might never get a chance to know…now you might just have a good idea of just how good it can feel to take back something thats been taken from you.
now, i need you to let me ask for your help.
today, the kkkops are trying to uphold the memory of that child rapist by putting me behind bars for the rest of my life, to make an example out of anyone like me, and that shits not right.
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=THE SURVIVORS=
since he raped me, ive been blessed and cursed to learn from many outside and from even more inside jail that there are other people like us. too many, really. not everyone did exactly what i did to fight back, but there are many, many survivors of child sexual abuse who fight every day. i think there are many, many more of us who cant fight back, for all sorts of reasons…but mostly because theres lots and lots of tools that can be used against us to make people us feel POWERLESS, AFRAID, GUILTY.
let me share some stuff with you that might have been kept from you to get you curious. i always try to encourage folx to do their own research, but take this from my own experience.
this kkkountry, its kourts, its kops, have always turned a blind eye to the rape of children. especially poor kids. especially kids with disabilities and mental health problems. especially Black, brown, Indian queer street kids. slavers made an industry out of exploiting Afrikan youth’s bodies, and those slavers hand in hand w other colonizers conquered the Land & bodies of brown and Indian folx across the globe.
under an empire built by child rape, we shouldn’t be surprised at those same imperialists silence the survivors of child sexual abuse with any and all tools at their disposal.
this county that im being caged in right now, putnam kounty in central florida is just one of those tools. its a kourt with the ol’ hanging tree made into its towns proudest monument out in the front of it, and its smack in the middle of kkklan territory. but it isnt a corrupt court…its just one of many thats working exactly as designed to keep all its people, but especially poor folx, young folx, disabled and mentally ill folx, especially street folx, queer folx, women, girls, whores, Black, brown, & Indian folx in their place.
exploited and oppressed their whole lives, and that shits not right.
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=THE KKKOURT=
the kourt will try to make me feel POWERLESS, forcing me to be silent in court, not allowing my jury to hear anything about how louis stackhouse was a violent repeat child rapist.
the kourt will try to make other survivors of child abuse AFRAID to even speak about what theyve gone thru. about the lengths theyve been forced to go to defend themselves while the child rape empire’s “social safety nets” supposedly in place to make kids safer did little to nothing to help us, and in most cases, even put us into worse positions than we started out once they tried to “help”.
the kourt will stop at nothing to find me and all other survivors GUILTY of stopping predators in their tracks, and then sentence us to lifetimes of torture via endless attacks on our bodies and being…just because we fought back.
theyll haul my tranny ass to a prison to get raped and sexually harassed til i die…to get “justice” for the man i killed, yes, but more to make a good example out of me to warn any survivors like us who would even dare to think about fighting back against them.
that shits not right…and FUCK ALL THAT.
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=NEEDS/WANTS=
i want yall to fight back for the young ones who cant just yet and for the one who aint here yet so they can at least have a better chance than we had. for the folx who might never get the chance to take back what was stolen from them. for all those exploited.
if im going to spend the rest of my life in a cage surviving relentless sexual violence, i NEED everybody to know that the man, the predator, louis stackhouse, was a repeat child rapist that the kops and kourts let go free, and that he wouldve kept hurting folx unless someone stopped him.
but what i really WANT to see is all the folx who think that this shit is fucked up to get together to get me free, along with everybody else locked in a cage for fighting to survive, and for all those folx to burn that stupid fucking courthouse hanging tree & the entire putnam kounty kourthouse to the ground, then the entire prison industrial complex, then the entire child rape empire itself.
i NEED to see this future come to pass because i believe that we love the children of the future enough to do it for them, and because i believe that from the ashes, survivors of all forms of exploitation & oppression can build something new and better that will make it impossible for any of this shit to ever happen again.
ive seen it in my dreams since i was little kid, but now its becoming a reality. the catholic church, boy scouts, child protective services, the adoption industry, weinstein, all the way up to the president with this epstein files thing, there are so many people lucky enough to understand just like i did how fucked up things are for kids & survivors of rape living under this empire. i WANT for them so badly to understand it, because i know it feels so, so, so much better to struggle in truth than suffer in illusion.
i truly believe that just like i did, for those unlucky few who just cant go on living, loving, feeling secure anymore…that their time is coming to start a warm, loving, and beautifully terrible fire.
but now that yall have an idea of how good it feels to fight back, and now that yall have an idea of what I needed to ask you, I NEED yall to try not to don’t think of those folx like us as unlucky anymore.
we survivors, called to take action, they are blessed with a fiery spirit of truth that will be the light for the children of the future.
LET IT BURN.
and most importantly,
KYLR
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=MUSIC BREAK=
if u havent taken a break yet, now would be a good time to queue up…
‘fire’ from the pointer sisters ‘set fire to the rain’ by adele or that song from that animated netflix show about the girl singers called carole & wednesday titled something like ‘light a fire’
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=CALL TO ACTION=
BECAUSE OF WHAT IVE DONE, BUT MORE FOR WHO I AM, I HAVE BEEN MADE INTO A TRUE G0KM0N5T3R UNDER THE GAZE OF THIS EMPIRE, AND AM CALLING ON YOU AND UR FRIENDS TODAY FOR HELP.
AT THIS POINT, EXPENSIVE LAWYERS, EXCELLENT MEDIA COVERAGE, AND 1000 WELL-INTENTIONED FRIENDS AT THE COURTHOUSE WAVING CARDBOARD WILL NOT GET ME FREE, BUT JUST 10 COMRADES WELL-@RM3D AND ORGANIZED JUST MIGHT DO THE TRICK. >:DDD
IF NOTHING ELSE, TAKE THIS LESSON FROM ME AS A SURVIVOR OF THE SEXUAL ABUSE AND SEX SLAVERY UNDER A YT SETTLERS AMERIKKKAN SEX TOURIST:
WHETHER ITS SOME ABUSER IN UR COMMUNITY USING ISOLATION AND SHAME, WHETHER ITS AN ORGANIZATION COVERING UP THEIR ABUSIVE PRACTICES WITH FUCKED UP -OLOGIES AND ABSTRACTIONS, WHETHER ITS AN ENTIRE NETWORK OF INTERNATIONAL PREDATORS KEEPING US UNDER EXPLOITATION AND OPPRESSION WITH POWER, FEAR, & GUILT…
WE CAN ESCAPE FROM THEM, WE MUST GET BACK WHAT’S OURS. WE NEED TAKE BACK WHAT WAS STOLEN. WE WILL TAKE OUR FREEDOM BACK FROM THEM… …BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.
AND SO, MY LOVED ONES,
FROM PASIFIKA, TO TURTLE ISLAND, TO NEW AFRIKA, …AND BEYOND…
…ACROSS ALL OUR PEOPLES LANDS AND SEAS…
LET IT BURN!
GET ARM’D, LITERALLY, BUT ALSO W ANY & ALL THE TACTICS THAT THOSE OF THE 3RD AND 4TH WORLDS HAVE DEVELOPED ON THEIR FRONTLINES TO RESIST AGAINST HOW CISHETYTSUPREMACISTPATRIARCHY DEVELOPED AGAINST THEM. [SEE THE STREET TRANS ACTION REVOLUTIONARIES, THE BLACK LIBERATION ARMY, BLACK AUTONOMOUS RADICALS, ZAPATISTAS, AMERICAN INDIAN MOVEMENT, ETC…]
GET ORGANIZ’D WITH THOSE MULTIPLY MARGINALIZED AROUND YOU, BUT ALSO WITH THE BLACK RADICAL TRADITIONS OUR MOST MARGINALIZED RELATIVES BLACK TRANS* RELATIVES HAVE SHARED W US SINCE OUR OPPRESSORS FIRST STARTED ALL THIS SHIT.
REMEMBER WHEN SANYKIKA SHAKUR SAID SOMETHING LIKE… ~”FREEDOM ISNT GIVEN, ITS TAKEN.”
ALL POWER TO ALL THE PEOPLE!!!
-g0km0n5ter
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=SUGGESTED RESOURCES=
-For Developing More Effective Strategies That Can Carry On Regional Support Networks That MATERIALLY Center Our Black Trans* Relatives And Multiply Marginalized Folx, see…
- ‘move like mychorrizae’ & ‘Black radical ecology’ from the afrofuturist abolitionists of the americas • ‘library economy’ from andrewism [all on youtube], • ‘anarkata: a statement’ from anonymous [on the anark library dot com]
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-For Developing More Effective Commitments To The Safety, Full Participation, And Self-determination Of Our Black Trans* Relatives And Multiply Marginlized Folx And For Ridding Movement Spaces Of Opportunists, Clout Chasers, Abusers, Predators, TERFS, Xenophobia, Authoritarian Shit, see…
•Nsambu Za Suekama’s ‘the left cannot just denounce cults/abuse…’ & ‘femme queen, warrior queen: beyond representation, toward self-determination’ •(g)ender fugitive’s ‘for those seeking or in flight: Black transfeminist nihlism’ [on redvoice news dot com/medium dot com/patreon dot com]
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-For Developing More Effective Miltnt Tactics That Seek To Center Those At The Bottom & On The Inside, see…
•Lorenzo Komboa & Jonina Ervin’s ‘Black Autonomy Podcast’ & ‘Black A & the rev’, •the zapatistas & their takeover •the young lrds & their hospital takeover •the Black Liberation Army •Ashanti Alston •Kuwasi Balagoon •the american indian movement, leonard peltier, standng rock, wounded knee 1973, their alcatraz takeover
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and a last bit of encouragement to always do your own research with scientific skepticism and a surrender to the knowledge of The Highest (*
<3